Cocaine Bill and Morphine Dick

 While at a doctor's visit, my dad was offered small doses of morphine. 

"It will help with your hip pain," the good doctor starts. Dad grunts. 

"You'll be able to walk more, which will help your general health immensely," he continues. 

Eric is also present at the appointment.  He leaves to get the car (He will drive) while I stay with Dad. 

He begins singing, 

Cocaine Bill and Morphine Sue.... in its entirety.  It ends, of course, in the cemetery with them both dead. 

I snort.  There's no way he'll take morphine. 

I go home and write the following, meant to be sung to the song: 

Cocaine Bill and Morphine Dick

Strolling down the avenue clickety-click

Oh baby have a little 'sniff' on me, have a sniff on me. 

Said the doc to Dick, won't do you any harm

just stick it in your juice and flex your arm

Oh baby won't you have a little 'sniff' on me, have a sniff on me. 

So Dick walked down the path just a flickin' his cane

looking at the pond and feeling no pain, 

Oh baby won't you have a little 'sniff' on me, have a sniff on me. 

And hanging out at dinner Dick's a telling his jokes

got himself a laughing with all these folks

Oh baby won't you have a little 'sniff' on me, have a sniff on me. 

Up in Maine a-sittin' on his dock 

watching the sailboats and loons by the flock

Oh baby won't you have a little 'sniff' on me, have a sniff on me.

The journal comes to Dick's PO Box

News of the day just blows off his socks

Oh baby, won't you have a little 'sniff' on me, have a sniff on me. 

At ninety-two, he's grinnin' like a kid

Dancing down the street, just doing his own bid, 

Oh baby, won't you have a little 'sniff' on me, have a sniff on me.